What overshadows the positive?

Whilst going home on the bus a few days ago, I overheard a bit of a conversation between two elderly ladies sitting behind me.  They were talking about our NHS, and basically discussing the outcome from an incident that had occurred to someone they both know. They were saying that in their opinion the lack of diagnosis and care to this person was not right, and in their own words ”it’s awful how were all treated these days by the NHS”. I think they might have forgotten all the incredible work our NHS do and all it’s positive aspects…….most of what we don’t get to always hear about.

All this got me thinking. To begin with I thought it was  unfair that such a generalised comment highlighted such negativity. It’s strange how quickly people are prepared to put something or someone down, because they get to hear, or know of something happening. Such stories are highlighted by the news media…….in other words they make a huge issue out of certain things…..the bad things. It seems that they are all very quick to jump on the band wagon and criticize anything that goes wrong. As a result of this it ‘overshadows’ all the good things that happen and rarely gets a mention.

We must not forget all the great things that do happen each and every day, but sometimes we hardly get to hear about them in the news media. We get to hear about a ‘selective few’, but then they get quickly forgotten because something big and bad comes along and overshadows it.

It’s very much like this with depression. With myself for instance, I always seem to be in a state of mind of thinking only bad and negative points when I am at my lowest. And I can say with all due respect to any or all sufferers of this illness, that they too  must go through a similar if not the same sort of experiences. Of course there are good things that have happened in my life, as with any ones life…….it’s just extremely difficult, if not impossible sometimes to remember them, and to put them into true perspective, because the depression overshadows all those positive aspects. All or any good things that have happened  seem totally inconsequential at that point in time.

And I am sure there are many out there who can relate to what I am saying. and so it seems when ever we try to remember these good thoughts or memories its very hard to see through that thick cloud of fog.

There have been numerous occasions in my life, in my deepest darkest days, when even though I can and do try to remember the positive points, the idea of telling myself that those good things can happen and will happen again, is extremely difficult. This is where over the last year or so  CBT has played a big part in my thought processes. CBT is not the be all and end all of depression, some days it is still a very difficult concept to grasp, and to turn your thinking around from the negative into the positive…..namely because the negative still has a habit of overshadowing the positive. In some situations, CBT just does not work for me, in other situations it can be very effective.

The last 2 days have been very difficult days, not just for myself but for all my other work colleagues, some of who are  good friends. For those of my new readers who have recently subscribed to my blog (and I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you to you all for reading and joining) I would like to just put you briefly in the picture, so to speak……I have worked within the same company for the last 20 yrs. Three years ago, the company I worked for ‘merged’ with another bigger  ‘ better’ company. Last year due to changes in one major aspect of our work being contracted out abroad some of us were TUPE’d over to another company and then seconded back to the other company, but knowing full well by the end of this year 29 of us, including myself would be made redundant. The remaining staff however, about 20 of them, who were not TUPE’d over, and have continued to work alongside  in the other half of the business with us,  were until yesterday morning not aware of their futures.

We had all guessed and even expected what did happen yesterday, was what was going to happen.But you still hang on to the hope that you might just be wrong. And even though you were sort of expecting it, it’s still very difficult and even heartbreaking to have confirmed officially in an annoucement what you were expecting. My remaining colleagues and friends, some of who I have worked alongside for the last 20 years, have now had their fate sealed. They too will be made redundant over the next 6 to 8 months, because of their side of the work being contracted back to the companies other main distribution site in a different part of this country and to a different set of staff from the company who merged with us.

Our company, in particular the site where I work, before the merger 3 yrs ago, had spent years building its reputation, implementing a smooth and efficient running business for our customers ( who are our branches, so that they in turn can serve their customers, the public) Even the most senior HQ staff have had to acknowledge the standards and reputation that our distribution centre have achieved……..hence one of the main reasons for their merger in the first place.

We have all had our ups and downs over the years, but we have worked together as a most incredible and extremely efficient and very knowledgeable team (apart from the odd one or two!), and have worked with a brilliant set of  managers and team leaders. We have seen a huge number of changes  within the company, some good, some not  good, but we have adapted to these changes in order to maintain or improve our levels of unbeatable services. But the news yesterday overshadowed all of these positive factors, and it is extremely difficult to accept that everything we have strived for, everything we have built up and created from absolutely nothing is now being taken away from us.  As one of my managers said to me yesterday, and I quote…”we are this place, we have built it from nothing”. This place has existed for 24 years, and I am proud to have been part of that for the last 20 years. To some people out there, they could turn around and say ‘but its just a job’. Which to a point, for some of my younger colleagues, and those who have not been there very long will probably think the same. But for many of us, we have spent a huge part of our lives working for this company, in this place through thick and thin, we see it differently.  We have spent most of our time at work than at home. We have built up our own friendships. We are affectionately known by others in the same company as a ‘family’.  All our lives are now about to start changing.  And because of this one major change in all our live, it overshadows everything we have done, everything we have acheived individually and as a team.

Even though at present all these good points, are being overshadowed by what is happening, and I have no doubt that in the future I will still face very difficult and challenging times, and will still have very negative thoughts about my life,  I will have this page of my blog to remind myself that I should be positive in my part in what we have acheived over these last 20 years.

For many of us this truly is the end of an era!

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