Who am I?

Last night whilst tidying up some personal documents and putting  some of my affairs in  order I came across this little poem. I don’t know who the author is, but it is something I took a photo of when I found it hanging in a frame on a hospital ward wall whilst visiting my Aunt last year.  I guess at the time I must have thought  how appropriate it was for me.

I LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

I look in the mirror and what do I see?

Not the 20 year old

 laughing and joking

And drinking with friends.

                ———–

Not the 30 year old

changing nappies, cuddling

And feeding the ducks.

                ———–

Not the 40 year old

Trying to resolve those

 Teenage blues.

                 ———–

Not the 50 year old

With confidence, freedom

And time to myself.

                 ———-

Who is that person

looking at me?

                  ———-

The body has changed,

Surly not mine,

But etched on the face,

In every line,

Is a lifetime of learning,

Wisdom & knowledge,

Of sadness & joy,

understanding & love.

                 ———–

She’s looking at me,

I know her so well.

just look in hr eyes,

She has so much to tell.

                  ———–

I have often wondered why peoples lives have to change so much through circumstance and  therefor I constantly ask myself….what if?

Working in my departments office the last couple of days,  although I keep myself to myself and very rarely say anything to anyone again these days, I cant help but over hear some of the conversations that go on and wonder why it is some people talk about some of the subjects they choose to talk about, and the way in which they make a laugh and a joke out of everything.  Why it is some people don’t take some issues as serious as the next person, instead they choose to make a joke out of more serious issues, and just laugh it off.  And yet myself,  as a person suffering from anxiety, I find some of their subjects of conversation and comments somewhat inappropriate and in some cases I feel they have very bias opinions, without actually taking time to learn or understand some or all of the facts. The ‘younger generation’ seem to have a care free and without a worry in the world attitude, and in one way I can’t help but envy them. I mean, after all wouldn’t it be great if we could all be like that!! Those of us in the ‘slightly older generation’ react differently than  the youngsters of today. I believe it’s partly because we do have more wisdom, knowledge and understanding, due to the era we have grown up in. Or I wonder if  is it because we just naturally get more serious as we get older.

Looking back on my childhood days, things were different back then. Everything changed slowly and we adjusted to those changes coming in, and yet still a high percentage of my age group have or do suffer depression. But in this day and age everything is so readily available at the simple push of a button, or a click of a finger thus supposedly making life less stressful and much easier, its so easy to ‘learn a few simple tricks’  so I have to ask myself…..do the youngsters of today actually learn about life and lifes attitudes or more to the point do they want to?  Statistics say that more and more people in the future WILL suffer depression. It makes me wonder how many people in 20 or 30 years from now will read that poem, and will honestly be able to say to themselves…..yes thats me…..my life really has been full of knowledge and learning and wisdom, I have endured sadness and joy, and I know what love and understanding is about……..and finally…… what have I learned about life and what can I tell the next generation?

So who is that person looking back at me in my mirror? Someone who has learnt about life…….and is still learning…..and I do already  have  so much to tell!

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