That darned freight train………

Having just turned one corner with a health problem………it seems that another one has come to the surface. It’s like seeing light at the end of the tunnel, and then suddenly wham………….along comes that damn freight train again.

Nothing is clear-cut yet about the treatment last week for my bladder condition, but lets just say I’m ‘cautiously optimistic’. The early signs are looking good, but like I say it is early days yet. Only time will tell.

However,  2 days prior to going into hospital  for the bladder surgery I found some difficulty walking on my left leg and as a result I was in some considerable pain.

About 18 years ago I had to have some minor knee surgery for torn cartilage…it was at that point I was diagnosed with ‘early stage osteoporosis’. Well, anyway that was 18 years ago, obviously with age, wear and tear the condition can only get worse and not better if left. For those of you who do suffer arthritis… have my sympathy and total understanding.

Every now and then I have had minor flare ups of the arthritis, that is in addition to suffering on three separate occasions ruptured Bakers cysts, and several more ops over the years on both knees to deal with the torn cartilage, occasional bouts of pain in the knees lasting a few days to a couple of weeks at a time is nothing unusual for me. However last week I actually found I couldn’t put one leg in front of the other without suffering restricted mobility and agonising pain.  Like most things you just learn to get on with it, so with a few painkillers each day to keep on top of the pain, and resting up when I could, I hoped and believed it would get better. However at my doctor’s appointment last Thursday for my review and checkup, she  revealed this was a bad flare up of the arthritis, and I was duly prescribed much stronger painkillers. Come the weekend, things had not improved the slightest… fact they got worse. Monday morning getting up for work I dosed myself up with the stronger painkillers, but within a short time I was again in agony. I managed to literally drag myself through town to work, got off my second bus and what should have taken me about 3 or 4 minutes to walk from my bus stop to my works building took me an agonising 20 or so minutes, before finally collapsing in to a heap by the front door of the warehouse building into the arms of one of my managers.

All Monday morning was spent at the local A&E dept, being assessed as to why my leg gave way.  X-rays revealed that on and around my left knee I have at least 6 of what are  known as ‘bone spurs’. Apparently a sign of the progression of the arthritis…….(some would say a sign of getting old!!) So with instructions to rest up for the next few days, much stronger painkillers and a crutch to aid me I am spending a few days at home wondering why all this has happened. By all accounts this was a really bad flare up, the worst I have had to date. Next stage an MRI scan to see in more detail what is going on and what they can do…..18 yrs ago they spoke of a knee replacement when the arthritis reached a certain stage. I guess that certain stage has now arrived!

Only last week I was saying to my counsellor, it seems every time I turn a corner and make some progress in my life, that darned freight train comes hurtling towards me again at over 100 mph. and knocks me back off my feet…….this time literally!  So I always have to remain cautious. It’s as though when something good happens, then something bad has to happen to cancel that out, and something good will happen again…….and so on. The see-saw effect.

So what makes us more determined to overcome all these obstacles that we come up against? Why should we allow anything to get the better of us?  Eighteen months ago had this happened back then, I would have just given up and thought why me, something else to get me down in such a long line of health problems. Again, with this sort of physical disability its going to decide for me what job I can or can’t do in the future. But sitting here today, and writing my  blog today I have made the decision….something can be done, and therefore I am not going to let this darn freight train beat me……..after all why should I?

One thought on “That darned freight train………

  1. I am right there with you my friend. I hope you start to feel better soon and keep that wonderful outlook on life bright.


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