It appears that reaching certain levels of stress plays a major part on your mental and physical health. This appears to be very true. Whilst this past week has been a particularly stressful week for me, and I have felt myself going downhill, and suffering significant changes in my mood and physical well being, I have also found myself  ‘fighting’ harder to come out of it, and however temporary it may last it has given me  a chance to clear my head  and try to think that little bit clear these past few hours.  I have spent a this afternoon in my lounge scrapbooking which has got rid of some of the tension and stress and some very negative thoughts going on in my mind……be it only for a short time. In fact I can honestly say right now I can feel myself getting tired and shaky and I can sense my mood is dipping  again.

I won’t say that I am paranoid, or at least  I don’t think I am, but every now and then I do find myself starting to think things that just aren’t true or aren’t there. Only a few days ago I was beginning to believe that I had upset or even offended some one……apparently that appears not to be the case. It was caused by a period of self doubts creeping in and lack of confidence all caused by my levels of stress taking over……but at the time it all seemed so real. My GP warned me about my stress some years ago.

CBT teaches you to put into perspective and to rationalise your thoughts, and for a lot of people it works really well. For myself it is still fairly new, and I am still learning how to use these techniques effectively, and there are days that I feel like not bothering because they just do not  work for me. And yet other days I can do really well from this form of therapy. This past week I have made every effort I could to help myself through CBT, without the success I had hoped for. It seems that sitting down for a few hours and focusing your mind on something completely different can some time be the key to dealing with stress levels.

It has always surprised me how a large number of people just let things go over their heads, and not get the remotest bit stressed……at least not visibly.

One thing I have learnt for sure over the last few years is that my depression and stress go hand in hand. And with this I suppose I like to think of my meds as a ‘safety barrier’. And although I am nowhere near ready to come off them, I will one day again. But for now I have to live with the causes of my stress levels going up and down and affecting me in the ways that it does.


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